Well, listen, man, we're in week two and we're beginning to discover that God has a plan that he has a design and if you're like me really that the word right is is to discover. I'm more the guy that if I'm setting up a swing set. I just start I'm setting up a basketball goal. We just get it out of the box. Then we go back to the directions.

Once we crash and burn if I'm setting up my swing set and I finally get it set up in the you know, the the swing or the slides like two feet off the ground. It's just a toughness test right? It's not it's not a problem. This is just the way it ended up but maybe Maybe there's a better way. Maybe there's a better design maybe the people that put that swing set together had something different in mind than the slide to be two feet off the ground or the goal to fall on you every time.

Maybe there's a better way. So that's the case with marriage marriage was God's idea. And if you're like me, then sometimes you just jump in and maybe you didn't know better. Maybe you weren't modeled better. Maybe you didn't have an idea of what it should look like.

Well, today's a day to give you some hope. Today's the day that we're going to go back to the blueprint and see what God had in mind when he is the one who created marriage. So here's a quick question for you. You can jump in with us at all of our campuses. You can even raise your hand if you're watching this online.

How many of you know that marriage can be an incredible blessing? How many of you know that marriage when it's not a blessing can be incredibly difficult. You better look you better check before you raise your hand. It's like the cheese it just me. Yeah, well, both are true.

I mean if you've been married any length of time. Man, if you've gotten the chance to watch if you're younger today, this message is for you. You have watched your parents or your grandparents or a friends. You know, you've watched someone that's been married and you thought that man I'd be neat. I'd love that or you thought whoa.

That ain't what I want. Well today we're gonna get back and I'm gonna help you. See here's the way here's what God designed when it comes to marriage. So let's start in Genesis 2. We're going to go to the very first wedding there ever was this is where it all started because maybe from this day to day we've gotten off track.

I mean, that would only be natural. So, let's see what God had in mind Genesis 2 we're going to start in verse 18. Says the Lord God said It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is suitable for him. Drop down to 21 So the Lord God calls the man to fall in deep sleep and while he was sleeping.

He took one of the man's ribs. And he closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib that he had taken out of man, and he brought her to the man. Now the man said this is now bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh. She shall be called woman for she was taken out of man for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be United to his wife.

And they will become one flesh. Now here we go. As we begin to discover God's design. The first thing we see is that we need a foundation in Christ. I love the idea of first right the foundation the very first thing and when we go back to the very first marriage, the first thing in the marriage is the giving of the Bride.

Did you connect that did you see that moment where here it is? Let me go back to verse 20. Let's see verse 22 it said then the Lord God made a woman from the rib. He had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man. Now listen, man, you only thought your father-in-law was intimidating.

God himself brings Eve and he delivers Eve to Adam now watch Adam's reaction because this is this is this is really insightful because I understand this like that. I mean there's been seasons in my life that I've been waiting and praying like, is there someone for me like God could you really have someone for me? And then that's someone comes and you lose your mind. There she is. I've been wanting this I've been waiting for this.

This is this is exactly what Adam did this is what he said verse 23 This is now bone of my bone and Flesh of My Flesh. She shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. This this is Adam trying his best to throw out a little bit of poetry. This is Adam spitting game. I'm just telling you this is what it is.

This is now is translated as at last. At last the thing I've been waiting for is here. Here She is at last here's the problem so far. It's it's Adam and God and they're in paradise and there's no sin. You see the caution light?

Wait a minute Adam. You might not want to elevate the gift. Over The Giver you might be getting your your foundation. You might be putting too much in on a leaf. Then if you ever felt that like man, we started out great man.

We were really into each other. But now he is so dependent on me or she is so dependent on me. I can't withstand this pressure. Because it's gotten out of order. All of a sudden this went we're like man, we were we were leaning in and we were doing this and it was going great.

But now it's unhealthy because you have become God. The first thing to challenge you with is to say your foundation has to be Christ. And it's an easy mistake to make because this is what the world kind of tells us. I mean think about Jerry Maguire. You knew it was coming.

What did he say as soon as he saw her you complete me? You're the thing. I was looking for that suggests pretty clearly that you were incomplete until you found her. Well, let's go back to God's word Colossians. 2:9 says in Christ.

You have been made you ready? Complete so which one is it? Is it is it you are complete in Christ. Or you complete when you find the person you've been looking for? See the tension.

See if we're going to do marriage God's way. We're going to go back to the blueprint then you need to hear this. So clearly you are complete in Christ. If you are single today. And I got to do it right all the single ladies.

This is your word. Men The best thing you can do to get the right person is for you to be complete without them. That's the only game I had you're gonna how did you get someone so amazing? Like, how did you get Katie to be your wife? The reason I got her wasn't from my money.

It wasn't for my Ford Explorer and it was nice. It was because I was complete and that's not arrogant. I mean, that's not me brag. That's not a humble brag. That's me saying I was complete in Christ.

So she did have the chance to come alongside and do life with me. And now something she was looking for. See she was complete in Christ. Ladies. She didn't have to come latch onto me because she was desperate on her own.

She was established in who she was in Christ so she could come alongside me. God tell you something for me. That's really appealing. I want someone to come alongside me. Can I tell you for her?

That's really appealing. She could come alongside. We were better together. I want you to look beside and see who is running with you after the Lord. Don't look on who's dragging you down or depending on you.

Look who is walking with you together. That's what we're trying to find. You are complete in Christ. Now. Here we go.

This I'm kind of excited about this because it's Super Bowl Sunday. Go Chiefs that was for free. And I'm gonna do my best John Madden because I love watching when they start drawing on the screen and doing the play. So watch this because I'm gonna give you an illustration today. All right.

So here we go so far. We have God. Who created Adam in Genesis? And then he created Eve. And so far I've told you that the foundation is incredibly important.

The next thing I'm going to ask you to do when you go back to God's way. Is to be patient. I'm gonna say patience. Okay Genesis, 2:18. Genesis 2:18 says the Lord God said It is not good for man to be alone.

I will make a helper who is suitable. For him Now, let's start breaking that down just a little bit because you get the word helper. Helper is a word to describe God. God helps us. He sends his holy spirit helper is a word that you used to describe a small army.

Ladies, that's you. You are Divine. You are a gift talk about power. Talk about made in God's image. I mean this same word is used to describe.

God is also used to describe Eve. That's you. You're not less than You are a small army coming in to help then he gives us the word suitable. Suitable can be translated fit for like or opposite. Oh now we're talking.

Suitable It's like we've got these two pieces. And they're really similar. I mean, they're both puzzle pieces. But goodness gracious you start looking at these pieces. They're they're incredibly different.

I mean they're equal. But but they're not the same. And all of a sudden we realize that my goodness when these two pieces come together, they're better together. But the process of finding the right peace that fits and matches. It takes patience.

So to start with with patience, I'm just telling you you need to be patient to find the right one. You'd be patient that takes time there was I think there's a 500 pieces in this puzzle. Took me some time to find the right one and then you need to be patient. To become the right one. We just talk about that for a minute because when this piece comes together with this piece, this this piece is bringing a lot of specific things to the marriage.

And when you spend time developing who you are or your character? When you come together with that other person that's going to be an incredible blessing. I mean think about it when I got the chance to marry my wife. I mean that was the biggest blessing in the world because she was complete in Christ. Because she had leaned in and done the hard work when she was not married to work on herself.

And so here's where I'm going to challenge you to do listen because some of you you're married you're like, it's too late. What do I do now? But maybe the problem is not just him or her maybe the thing you need to be patient with in this season is to work on you. This may be your season. This may be your time to stop talking about him or stop talking about her.

Stop talking about the inlaws and the kids. And focus in a little bit on you. Because I'm just telling you it's difficult. It's hard to work on you. You don't want to do that.

But when these two pieces become one, the image is like iron sharpening iron. I mean the it's it's this isn't easy. I mean, I mean Katie and I worked through this this is this is hard because I don't want to see things sometimes through her lens. Because her lens is different than mine. I don't want to see me.

Through her lens like in order for us to connect like I've got to see some things differently and that is painful. I want the world's point of view that says we're just different and we're too different can't you tell? But God says you are different. But you're not too different. In fact, I want to use these differences to sharpen you.

See, keep me think about it the perspective I gain from a piece that's totally different than me. I wouldn't see me the same if it weren't for her. The perspective I gain on the world. I wouldn't see the world. I wouldn't see the world the way I would only see it Through My Lens.

But now I get to see it through her lens. That's just hard that just requires patience. Because man, I don't I don't enjoy that sometimes. It's a lot easier to see things just Through My Lens because I'm selfish. I mean that it's just me.

So here we go. If we're gonna work on you, if you're gonna work on you in this season, then take first Timothy as an example. It says would you work on your speech on your life. Would you work on how what it looks like to love others to live in faith and to be pure use this season to work on those things. Because when you do you're going to bless the person that you're with as you work on those things and then as you become one, oh what a blessing if you're single, this is your season if you're married, this is the moment the shift from them and start thinking about you because as you work on those things, you're blessing your marriage second thing you can do in this season to be patient.

Number one work on you number two, you can look at who you're doing life with your community. Let me ask you this real simple question. Is there anybody in your community any marriage that you think I want that marriage? Just think about that. Is there anybody that you're doing life with?

But as you watch the way they treat one another you think I'm envious of that marriage. You might need that you might need to be around some people that can sharpen you and can encourage you can and I two summers ago. I think we took a trip with some with two other couples. And their kids and we went to college with this couple. So we'd never seen them married.

Like we just knew them single. We'd never seen them with kids. And the more we were together and we started watching the way they interacted with their children, but really we started watching and listening to them and the way that they loved each other. Can I just be honest with you? All right.

I needed to leave because he was putting me to shame. It was uncomfortable. Like I was kind of frustrated with Katie, we've been married, you know by that point. It's probably 15 years and the things that were different about us that I used to love had become like thorns in our side. You know like she's sweet and soft-spoken and she's she thinks through things and processes things, but I'm like, hey, come on, let's go.

We're gonna go quicker. And I'm watching this this family. We were on a trip with and he was still patient with his wife. He was still so gentle with her. Like he was still into the fact that he got to serve her and then I was watching her and like she still thought he was funny.

I mean, right like he cooked a meal and he made a huge disaster for me. It was he was late and all the kids were waiting and she thought it was great. And we both looked at each other and we realized oh we got some work to do. But it was because we saw something in them that we didn't have. And you need people in your life that when you look at their marriage, you don't think oh God think God.

We're not that bad. Instead you think man, they might can take me places that I can't go alone. Godly friends can do that for you. She watch them the strength of your community will shape the quality of your marriage. The key is you have to be humble.

That's the hard part. That's the third thing we need. Yeah, we need humility. Because it was hard for me to watch the way this guy loved his wife and then to go. I'm not there.

That wasn't easy to see. Let me show you that in Scripture. This is in 218. Where it says the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone. That that took some humility.

Because God said I've created Adam. And his original purpose is still the same right like he is to worship. Me and Men together. We've got this relationship. But God himself is saying this is the first time and the only time he says it's not good.

It's not good that he's alone. Now, let me speak to you because you could take that out of context and run out and get married. Now that's that'd be even worse. You could be single and you could be asking yourself now. Wait a minute.

Does this mean I'm not good. No, no go back. You remember what we said the first thing you're complete in Christ. Jesus was single Paul wrote most of the New Testament he was single. And they say listen to what do you do in your singleness is you lean into Community?

It's still not good for you to be alone. You'll be lonely. That's why you have the body of Christ. Yeah, that's why you lean in on House Church and you get connected with other families. That's why you begin to serve and you use this season of your life to be a part of the body of Christ.

You're no longer single. You have the body of Christ. You have the family of God. We need humility, right if you're married. This is the season to watch the body of Christ because the body of Christ is the bridegroom of yeah Christ.

So we get to watch and see how God loves his bride. Now think about that with me for a minute. Think about how God loves his church. So think about his church is made up of you and me, so think about how God loves you. Man, has he been patient with you or is it just me?

Has God been pursuing you? I mean steadily consistently. What about this has has God been as gracious with you and sacrificial. I mean the Gospel is that he laid down his life for me. So let me connect it.

So you don't miss it right humbly. This is the way we're to love the person that we're with the way that God loves the church. You know this you've seen this illustration right when you get married you walk up to the altar with a big suitcase. You put it down. She walks up to the altar with a big suitcase and you put it down.

And you take everything that's in that suitcase. And she takes everything that's in my suitcase because we're now one. And sometimes sometimes we get a little debt right? Sometimes we get some crazy in laws. Sometimes it's a package deal.

Think about that with your wedding ring of faith. When Jesus Took you on he took on every bit of you. And he loves you. It's called the wet. I love that term the wedding ring of Faith.

But now think about you in terms of what kind of mate have you been to God? Oh. I may be the mate from h e double l. You talk about a dysfunctional relationship. Think about our relationship with God.

It's been dysfunctional since mankind. And he's been so patient. He still pursuing he's still loving us and that is hard y'all that this it takes some humility. And I understand you're going you don't understand the details of my situation. I'm just I'm just pointing you back to the blueprint.

Just telling you this is what God put in place that we are to love the person we are with the way that Christ loves the church. And that's a huge challenge. I can't do that on my own. So here we go. There's one other thing we see and we get this from verse 24.

Okay 224 for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be United to his wife. And they will become one flesh now. Hang with me. This is the last point you've done. Well, thank you for leaning in and really I want today to be encouraging our prayers that today would be healing for you.

That maybe it's convicting. But I don't want you to feel discouraged. So so we've talked about our foundation. We've talked about patients. We talked about humility.

Now we get the final piece. We get introduced to this word that we might be United. To his wife. Let me break that word down for you United means to cling to to catch by Pursuit. To follow close behind boy.

You are good at this when you were dating. Man, you've got great stories about how you cling to them and how you followed close behind. I mean I sound like a stalker, but I knew Katie schedule. And I knew what class was next and where to catch her at the bakery. And yeah, I might just I did.

Well, what happened? Well you got married. They say it's the wedding cake. It makes you lazy. But we've gotten lazy we've gotten relationally lazy.

Where we used to pursue? Where we used to kind of cling to where we used to study them and get to know them and connect with them now. We just kind of point and grunt like this one and I that's just not it. I want to challenge you a little bit today that maybe you are like me and you've gotten relationally lazy. So what do you do?

Like if that's you if you're like, yep honest we've been married. I don't know how long it takes three years. We've been married 20 years. We've been married 40 years. We've been married 50 years.

But if we were honest we've gotten in a season today where we've just gotten lazy. Well two things to ask you to do. Would you do now what you did then? What you do then? Well, you didn't just point and grunt you talked.

You didn't just assume you asked. You didn't just know you got to know. I want to challenge you to do what you did then begin to pursue them men. Let's start with you pursue her with your words. Pursue her with your words I mean like I'm working at this like I want you to be specific with her.

Like I just want to say that I see you and not only do I not just see you but you look beautiful. Not only do you look beautiful. But it's your heart like I love seeing your heart in my kids. So I'm trying to be specific and I'm not telling you I've got this I'm telling you. This is what I'm working on.

I want you to be specific and I want you to do what you used to do men if you think something good say it. Now I said if it's good. Think something good. Say it now, you know the catch right the ideas that you're not saying something good to get something good. Right.

Normally, that's the way we think. Something good because you thought something good about your maid your spouse. Speak it say it. They're gonna love that gonna lean in ladies. And I'm gonna tread real lightly here at times almost done.

That's a good thing. Ladies Would you pursue him with affection? Would you begin to pursue him again with affection? I know what you're thinking. Listen.

I don't know that's not as natural as it used to be. Well, that's okay. What used to be natural may have to become intentional. But I want you to step into that. I want you to begin to pray God help me see things that maybe I've lost sight of God help me see him trying.

Man, when he tries, may you celebrate that help me see him stretching and looking and trying his best to lean into something and when he does when he tries to give you that compliment man just jump in and say wait to go. That's exactly what I needed to hear when he says listen, let's go to church say thank you for being the spiritual leader. I've been praying for Secret you just said let's go to church what you're gonna speak it into existence. Your words what you say about your man? Can make him a great man or a bad man?

Your words are so powerful. Man, I'm just telling you the most delicate and the most fragile thing in your house. Is your man's ego. And we'll just be honest with your home is hard sometimes ladies some of you are so good at home. I mean my wife's just so natural.

Like she loves the day was just at home doing nothing and I'm like desperate like we got to do something. But you need to speak into that. Say Hey man, thank you for leaning into that. Thank you for trying. I see the effort that you're putting look for Progress.

Look for movement. Look for Change and when you see it celebrated big celebrity big now, let's go back. Here's how we're gonna wrap it up. You've made it. Everybody's still together.

Good job read the okay not too many of these. Here's the summary of everything we've talked about today. Okay? We said first we started with God. He created Adam from Adam.

We have Eve. We said this important that our foundation stays in Christ. And then we said we're going to be patient. And in the meantime, we're going to be humble. And our ultimate goal.

Is that we might be United. Now here's the challenge for you. The one thing I'm going to ask you to do today. Okay, there is one thing I'm asking you to do. So far in life.

We've been pursuing each other. And man, let's just be honest. That's a hard Pursuit. We change. Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus Good luck.

So instead today, the one thing I'm asking you to do is to change your direction watch this. So instead of pursuing each other. Would you be willing today to say I'm going to pursue God? And he's going to pursue God and as we begin to pursue God look at the distance up here compared to down here. As we both lean into our walk with Christ.

We're going to get closer as we get closer to God together. We're gonna get closer to each other because we are clinging to the vine and if we'll stay connected to the vine. That is Jesus. We will bear much fruit but apart from him when we pursue each other. You can do nothing.

Would you change your direction today? Don't worry about the distance. Don't worry about. Hey, I bet this couple is farther along than we are. I'm not worried about that.

I'm just saying today. Would you stop just trying to pursue each other and say let's do this God's way and let's change our Direction. Listen to I ask you to do this this is this is the response time at all of our campuses. And this is just a moment where we're going to come back and we're gonna worship. Since we worship man, I want you to worship with us, but I want you to think through why we worship and we sing.

Would you just for a minute? Just praise and thank God. That maybe he's put you in a healthy marriage. If you go Craig, my story is really not that this is a healthy marriage. Well, what would you pray and ask God to begin to work on you?

Ask God today to show you some things that you can work on now. That's got to send someone in your life that can encourage you because I know it can be hard. So if you're single today, I want you to grab hold of some of the things we talked about today because one day you're gonna have a chance. I did a wedding last night and it was so beautiful to see two people that love the Lord. And they loved each other.

Ask God to help you be patient. And to work on you, let's pray together God. I thank you so much that we get a moment where we get to respond in some respond by coming down to the cross and some respond by taking communion, but we all respond In This Moment by saying we want to pursue you. So God come into our relationship come into our heart. God show us things that we need to see.

And help this be a day that the direction changes that in this moment. We begin to turn to you. God I love that you make things new that you bring what was once dead back to life? God our expectations when we lean in and we turn to you. It's more than we could ask or imagine.

So God bring healing bring encouragement. Bring us. Hope It's in your name. We pray amen.