Lemme see, I love this series. I've been married 44 years, and, uh, we met matter of fact, uh, 46 years ago. And, and we had her first day to a Valentine's banquet. And Cheryl Pruitt that she was like Miss America, she spoke. But for me, miss America was sitting by in my table.

And, uh, so we have seen a whole lot in marriage. And, and let me say, this marriage is built to last, okay? I want you to get that. It's, it's built to last for a lifetime. And, and maybe your marriage didn't last for a lifetime, or maybe you went through a divorce or maybe something happened.

Look, I'm not mad at you, and I know that happens, and I'm not talking about today what happened in your past, okay? I'm talking about from right here on what God can do in your marriage, in your relationship, to take it to another level because God has a great design for your marriage. Uh, the problem is for a lot of people, their marriages, I would say most people are struggling. Uh, it's not what you see on Instagram or Facebook and, you know, they're, they're, they're struggling when they get home. They're having the same fights you're having, they're having the same difficulties, financial issues.

And the reason is you all have the same enemy because in Genesis chapter three, the devil, he picks out the very first marriage and says, I'm gonna destroy it. He, he's working against you. And, and, and I think I wanna give my life to saying to couples, understand that his goal is to separate you from your spouse and separate you from your children. Because when, if he can do that, he can destroy the world. If you want to take every social ill, there is, you can solve all of 'em by working on your marriage.

Having a marriage that is good. I didn't say great. There are no great marriages all the time. See, see, here's the thing that happens, and I, I don't know what to do about it, but because you have two people and you're dating, you look the best you're ever gonna look. Okay?

You feel the best you're ever gonna feel. You're, you're spending typically somebody else's money. I mean, you are living the Viva la loca and, and you here's two people and you collide. And it's like a chemical spill on the interstate, because you don't even have to take a test to get married. I mean, at least for a permit, you could be a terrible driver, but you could at least take a test and do like a permit to have some time to figure it out before you can like drive.

And in Hattiesburg, I don't think anybody has taken a test. That's another thing for another time. I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole, Craig. You know, I'm trying to keep myself on track here, okay? For everybody, including myself.

But when you're dating, man, you're filled with serotonin, dopamine is kicking in. You got hormones raging, you got adrenaline going, and then you show up on your wedding day. And man, you have never looked like that, okay? And I've never seen an ugly bride. I've done hundreds of weddings.

And when they open that door and she walks in, everybody's going like, wow. And the guys always standing at my me going, wow. And I always know they're ready for me to get through the ceremony so they can kiss. I mean, guys, they don't care about the ceremony. They're not listening to any of that.

And, and then you get married and then all of a sudden something changes. You're like, wait a minute. When we were dating, we had all this time, we had all this energy. You know, we had extra money and we, we, we loved going to do these little things. And now all of a sudden, our marriage is really hard.

It's real hard. I remember the first time I saw Alicia walk across the campus. I'm not gonna tell the whole story, I've told it a thousand times, but it's the same story. She walked across the campus, she had on a black dress, and she had black hair, and her hair was moving in slow motion as she was walking. And I thought, Jesus, take the wheel.

That's all I could think to say. I mean, like, and I didn't think she was hot. I mean, I, I thought she was beautiful, not because she knew the books of the Bible. I thought I can teach her that. You know, I can teach her like Bible drill, you know, but I can't teach her to walk like that and look like that and talk like that.

And I thought if I could marry that woman, man, every dream I've ever had would be fulfilled, every fantasy for the rest of my life. And then we got married, and I found a couple of things, and you may wanna write this down. Dating is the trailer, not the movie. Would you write that down somewhere? If you're dating somebody, like what you're going through right now, that's not the movie.

That is the trailer. It's the best scenes of the movie. Are, are y'all okay? I ain't even got started yet. Here, here, here's another thing you need to write down.

If you're dating, uh, dating behaviors are no guarantee of marriage behaviors. Uhoh. That, that's why when you get about 40, 35 or 40 and you got a couple of kids, and, and all of a sudden you're, you're tired, you gotta throw up all over you and you, you've been up all night and you know you've gained a few pounds and, and maybe the fascia's not working. And then all of a sudden you're like, Hey, I know what, let's have a girl's night. Let's get all the girls from college and let's leave our kids.

Let's get away from those kids and our husband and let's go somewhere. That'll be awesome and wonderful. And let's dress up it. It'll be like ate a moon pie all over again. And we'll go somewhere in a nice restaurant and we'll be so hot and we'll walk in and we'll feel good again.

The serotonin would be flowing. What could go wrong with that Are the guys, man, we're doing fantasy football. You know what we need to do, man? We need to go to Vegas. We could play bingo, tell our wives, play bingo.

And It's like I tap a keg all over again and we'll have so much fun and it'd be so good because we will feel the things we felt before. Listen, marriage is not a feeling. It is faith that you have that God is going to bring you through, You Said, but don't, don't I deserve to be happy. Are You kidding me? Did you think happiness was the goal of marriage?

Do do you think God invented marriage so you could be happy? Marriage is about God's glory and your good, the mingling of souls, And It's hard Christ. Christie Brinkley, which you don't know, she was the Sydney Sweeney of my day. And uh, 'cause I have to kind of break it down like, you know, Christie Brinkley, you know, uh, she said, every five years you ought to rethink your marriage. Because if you're not happy and it's not doing it for you, you need to find somebody else.

Christine Had four husbands. She's 72, she's all by herself. How's that working for you, Chris? Look, Alicia's been married to 10 different men and they've all been me. Why are you laughing so profoundly?

If you're in another campus, these people are going, no kid. We've known that. I mean, sometimes there's three or four in the same day, but what if I told you God has a plan for your bad marriage? 'Cause here's what I know about you. There are seasons.

Marriage is really bad. You say you don't know you're a preacher and you're married to the hottie. With the Lottie. No, no, no, no, no, no. We've had bad years.

We could rival any of yours. You say, well, what could be God's plan for a bad marriage? I mean, you don't just get another marriage and the veteran, you know, get another marriage. Then like, if that don't work, you can get a, you can get another marriage, you know, go online. He kinda shop.

You know, like, I think we'll try this, this time. That didn't work. We'll try this that time. That didn't work. So God writes a bombshell book of the Bible.

And I need to warn you upfront, you've never heard a sermon on this before And it is crazy. And, and I need you to, to kinda get ready for it. And let me give you a preview before I read it. And don't think of he knows me. I have people all down, you know, call, you know, they've called the church.

Did my wife talk to you? I said, I don't even know you, bro. Holy Spirit calling your name. I mean, it ain't my fault. But in the Bible, 800 years before Jesus' birth in the northern kingdom of Israel, uh, near the Golan Heights, you know, you know a lot about that.

Now, there was, uh, a time when Israel's economy was booming. I mean, stocks were up, the tariffs were working. I mean, there were all kinds of things happening. I mean, people were getting all their crops and they, they, it was so good. They kinda got lax.

They got lax with their faith, they got lax with their relationships, and they started doing stuff they wanted to do and paid a little penance to God on the side. And so God says, I'm gonna show you what you're doing through a marriage, because your marriage is a testimony to the people around you. Now, it's either a, a, maybe a good one or a not so good one. But it's a testimony. Here we go.

You ready? So God tells a preacher by the name of Hosea, I want you to go marry a woman who's promiscuous. And she messes around a lot and and she's naive. She's like a city without walls. And she's gonna mess around on you too.

But I want you to marry her, even though I'm telling you up front, she ain't right In the bubble. It's in the Bible. Hosea here should have been his sign. Her name is Gomer. That should have been his sign.

I mean, you might get hound the promiscuity and the messing around and you know, doing all that she's doing, but her name is Gomer. Don't ever name your kid Gomer. Okay? If you did change it, you can go to the courthouse. And so, uh, he says, I'm gonna like show everybody what they're doing in their life by showing them through your marriage.

What, what they are doing to me. Because I am like Hosea. And they are like Gomer. And I wanna show you what marriage is like and how you can go the distance when you have a terrible marriage. Everybody okay?

I'm not, okay. Hosea, Hosea, Hosea, Hosea, chapter one. And you're gonna have to hear this for yourself, Hosea one, two. When the Lord spoke to Hosea, he said, go marry a woman of promiscuity. Have children of promiscuity for the land is committing blatant acts of promiscuity by abandoning the Lord.

Chapter two, verse five. Yes, their mother is promiscuous. She conceived them. She acted shamefully for she thought, I will follow my lovers, the men who give me my food and my water and my wool and my flax and my oil and my drink. And therefore this is what I will do.

God says, I will block her way with thorns. I will enclose her in like a wall so that she can find her pass and she will pursue her lovers, but not catch them. She will look for them, but not find them. Then she will think I will go back to my former husband for then it was better for me than now. But God says she didn't recognize as I who gave her the grain and the new wine and the fresh oil.

I lavish silver and gold on her, which they use to worship Baal. They used to do all kind of bad things they shouldn't be doing. And then chapter three, verse one, she's left Hosea, she's going to be with a man. He is using her. And God says this because at this point, her name is Gomer.

She's messing around. You're going, okay, that's it. God gets it. Let's let it go. He says in chapter three, verse one, then the Lord said to me, go again and show your love to a woman who's loved by another man.

She's an adulterous. Just as the Lord loves the Israelites, though, they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes. That that was kind of a, a, you know, a sexual thing that kind of made them more sexual. That's what those things are. So I bought her for 15 shekels of silver in five bushels of barley, which is 30 pieces of silver.

And I said, you're to live with me many days. You must not be promiscuous or belong to any other man. You belong to me and I belong to you. And, and that's how we're gonna act to each other. We're we're not for sharing.

You're, you're my wife, I love you. Then in chapter 11, 'cause we don't really find out if it works out or not, okay, but this is what God says. He says to, to, to, to Gomer. He says, how can I give you up? How can I surrender you?

I love you. How can I make you like basically Sodom and Gomorrah? How can I treat you badly? He said, I've had a change of heart. He said, my heart explodes for you because I love you so much.

W would you listen to that for just a moment? Because these kinda messages are heavy. The end. God says, let me tell you before we get to the end of the message. You, I love you.

I I still love you. No, no matter what you're doing, I I love you. I I won't give up on you. So, so what does that mean when you have a bad marriage? Here's the first thing.

God works in a bad marriage. He does his best work when your marriage is bad, because that's when you need him. The the there isn't a spouse that's going to make you happy. I I mean, to look for someone to make you happy, it it, it's like a false God. And that's what Alicia was to me when we first got married.

I mean, she was beautiful and she was wonderful and she was nice and, and it was all these things. And I tried to make a God out of her and it wasn't possible because she is a human. See, see, marriage is a covenant relationship. A covenant means to cut. It means that when you come together with someone and you put a ring on their finger, you're saying, Hey, I'm entering into a mingling of souls with you.

It's not a contract because a contract says if there's some things you don't do, if there's some things you don't follow through with, we can stop this. We can sever the contract, we can move on. God says, your marriage is a covenant relationship. And, and, and, and the reality is, there is nobody that is going to make you feel good about that covenant all the time. Marriage is not like running downhill to good stuff.

Marriage is like walking uphill to great things. You say, well, well, why would it, why would God let it be so hard? Because he wants to use your marriage as a testimony of his grace and his mercy, that he can take you through the hard times, that he can do things in your marriage to deepen you and pull you together. And most people listen, most people, they're so accustomed to immediate gratification that when they hit something hard, they go, this must not be God's will. God's will is displeasure.

That's where you grow. If I told you just some of the things Alicia and I had to go through, you'd go, wow, I can't believe y'all made it. I can't either, but it helps me fight my battle. Fighting my battle. I've been asking to sing.

I fighting my battle. You know, I had to ask myself when I was reading this right here, do I believe all this? Jeff, do you really believe that? I was like, I bet my life on it. See, here's the thing.

I'm gonna give you something nobody's ever said to you. And this is something you can tweet. Do you still tweet? Talk tick, share base book Insta. Okay?

Here's the thing. Listen to when you, have you ever, have you ever looked at somebody that's really old? 'Cause for most of you, anybody over 45 is you're like, oh, they're dead. It's over taking up space. And you see 'em at the grocery and you see these old people together and you're like, God, how can they be together?

They just so wrinkly. And I bet they, I bet that's nasty. Oh, y'all are so godly. I'm sorry. You know who that doesn't happen to Couples that have been married for a lifetime.

You ever thought about that? Because if you've been married for a lifetime, that person you're with looks like the person to you that you married. Show you a picture of this, just so you know. I get it. That's Alicia's parents.

Her mom just passed away. I know you thinking, God, they look old. They don't look old to each other. We'd bring her over to see him. She was like a teenager.

If you can hang on and go the distance, there is a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, bro, I'm sorry. I'm, I'm, I'm sorry I'm backing up. 'Cause God has a plan for you and the hard times. 'Cause it's the hard times that make your marriage sweet. Here's the second thing.

God's grace can heal a broken marriage. I'm telling you, he's healed hours several times. Our marriage has been broken a bunch of times. And God says something to Hosea that man, it tested me because I'm the kind of person, if I break trust with you and you break trust with me, you're dead to me. I mean, isn't that Godly wish should forgive?

I you're gone. I, he says, Hosea, I want you to go over to the house where the man has her and she's a slave to him. And I want you to go over there and buy her back. Huh? I tried to picture Hosea going over there.

Listen to this, going over there and going, Hey, uh, I know gum's in there. I want to, I wanna buy and this, I brought this to buy her back 'cause I know you don't care about her. I'm going buy her back and take her home with me because she's my wife. Uh, that's a God thing. See, the grace of God is not just for you being forgiven.

It's about power. It. He buys it for 30 pieces of silver. That's what a slave cost. See, see, when you're in a hard marriage, a broken marriage, the grace of God will give you the power to do some things.

One, it will give you the power to pursue your spouse that you know is not worth pursuing. It will give you the grace to say, I'm not gonna wait until you make things right with me because you have not been meeting all of my needs. I'm gonna pursue you. I'm gonna find a way to love you. I'm gonna meet your needs.

And men, for most of us, it is saying positive things to our wives. I'm not good at it. Write it on a note card. Sorry, I that wasn't mad. I'm just like, just write it on a note card.

Put out your pocket, put it on, put it on your phone that the phone will ding. It's time to tell her you love her. Hey honey, I love you. It's better than nothing. You say, well, why would we do that?

Because Roman five eight says, while you were still sinning, Christ loved you. He gave himself for you the righteous for the unrighteous, the godly, for the ungodly. He pursued you like the lost son. Like the lost coin, like the lost of lamb. That's agape love.

That is covenant love. That's, that's a God kind of love. That's a mature love. Secondly, he provided for her. He said all the time where you've been with this man, I've been sending you clothes because I knew it wouldn't clothe you.

I've been sending you gold and silver and food because I wanted to take care of you. Men are to work, men are to work hard. Men are to provide, to meet our spouse's needs. You say, well, how about Hosea's needs me? Have you ever said that?

Well, how about my needs? Who met Hosea's needs anybody? Oh, God can meet your needs. You're saying that God can meet needs that other people can't meet when you need them the most. Here's the third thing.

He has a plan for change. He says, look, I'm gonna bring you home and we're gonna stop getting on Facebook late at night and looking for old boyfriends and girlfriends. We're, we're gonna stop flirting with people that aren't our spouses. We're gonna stop going to bars without each other and talking to people because it's not mature. It's not grown up.

No more lying, no more sneaking, no, no more places that you shouldn't go because marriage costs for agape love, not aero love. Because there comes a time when you need to grow up. If you're 45 and acting like 16, you need to look in the mirror and go, it's time. Let me grow up you. So I don't know how to do that.

Well, I'm gonna help you. Here's some things. And I want you to take a screenshot, if you will, that way nobody thinks you're the only one struggling with it. Here, here are some boundaries that will protect your marriage. You say, well, I don't have, I don't plan on cheating on my wife.

I know you don't plan to. How about having a plan not to? Or you begin to say, Hey, I'm not gonna go to work. You know, most affairs begin at work. Yeah, I mean, you're tired, you know, and how you doing?

Wow, my husband, you know how he is. Hey, how you, how, how's everything going? Oh, you know my wife man, how she doest complain. Oh, go to the next one. I'm sorry real quick.

'Cause we don't have time to go through this. 'Cause there's, that's just some that you can look at and maybe we can provide them. But, but I know you don't need this because you've already got this figured out. But here's the third thing. God's love makes us brand new.

God's love can make your marriage brand new. Not, not the one in the past, not, not the things that you've done back there. I'm talking about right now. God says, my love for you is bursting at the seams. He, he says, I've loved you with everlasting love.

He says, though your sins be as, be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow, though they'll be red like crimson. They shall be white as a lambs wool. He has a love for you that goes the distance. That is not a license to sin. He is saying, I love you so much.

I love you more than you love sex and money and reputation and power. And he's vulnerable to you. 'Cause 800 years later, there was another person bought for 30 pieces of silver strip bear beaten, put on a cross to say, this is how much I love you. That's Our model. I, I just wonder would resign for Jesus.

But you know, yet they not meeting my needs. I'm not happy with these religious people. I'm gonna jet outta here. That's what I've done. Like a jet pack of you.

Jesus. You can jet, jet. So let me ask you real quick, 'cause this time when they come out, that means it's time. Where do you see yourself in the story? Maybe you're Hosea, you've been cheated on, embarrassed, humiliated.

Nothing worse than being cheated on. I'm gonna tell you, let me just tell you if just so you know, in marriage, it would be better to cut off your spouse's arm than cheat on them. It's a stain. And if you're Hosea man, bring that to the Lord. Let him begin to heal you.

Grieve that. Give us some brothers or sisters that can help you in that and walk with you and restore you and love you. Well, maybe you're Gomer. I mean, maybe you're Gomer, maybe, maybe nobody. Nobody even knows what you're doing right now.

Listen, would you confess and come clean? Stop blaming everybody else and gaslighting everybody else. Oh, it's not my fault. Oh, I deserve to be happy. Oh, they hadn't met my needs.

Oh, I was at somewhere and this happened and that happened and this happened and that happened. Would you stop it? Because a cheap confession leads to to cheap grace. But here's the big one. Okay?

This is it. Okay, I'm done right here. Maybe you're the child of divorce and dysfunction and crazy. You know what? They named their kids.

It's how dumb parents are sometimes. Not you. I'm talking about other churches they named. They named their kid 1 1, 1 kid they named. You're not loved.

That's what a lot of kids get from a stupid family. Oh, I didn't say stupid. I'm saying in front of the kids, ignorant family. They name the other one, you're not mine. That's what happens to kids.

Oh, we're doing it for the children. You not. I got a new name for you kids. If you're like me, if you grew up like I grew up, I got a new name. Not your fault, not your fault.

Took me years of counseling to get to that. Not my fault. Here's another. Hey, I got another name for you. You're my son, God says, or daughter in whom I am well pleased.

He loves you so much. You can have a better life. You can take all those years of dysfunction and roll those up to the cross, kick them up there and receive grace and hope and new life. Would you bow your heads please for just a moment. I don't know where you are.

I'm not reading your mail. I'm telling you, this is the world we live in and God has given you a moment of clarity to think about your marriage. Not somebody else's marriage. It should be here. I'm talking about you, where you lay your marriage at their, the feet of Jesus at the cross and say, Jesus, we need you To fight this battle.

We need you to heal the years the locust have eaten. Father, we need you to meet our needs because we are so angry that we can't do it without you. Get help. Tell somebody we love you. We want to help you because your marriage is the most important relationship on the face of the earth.

And Father, I pray all of these things in Jesus' name.