Well listen, here we go, man. Happy Mother's Day and, uh, what an incredible day. So good to see just campus is full and everybody watching online. Welcome and moms, let's just say it, man, we see you like this morning, man. We honor you. Thank you for what you do day after day. And man, I've gotta start with just thanking my wife. And I wanna encourage you, if you're younger today, I heard something, uh, driving back into town last night that said a lot of our young people aren't getting married. And they're really, they're really, honestly, this is, this is like a real number. They're hesitant to fall in love because it means you have to be vulnerable. And I just want you to know it's the best decision I ever made. And there's a, there's a version of scripture that talks about more than you could ask or imagine. And man, my my wife is not perfect, but, uh, I need to honor her and tell you, man, thank you to my wife. She does an amazing job. And then there's, uh, then there's my mom and there's my mother-in-law. Both are watching online today. And so that means I need to be real careful what I say, right? And so we want to honor you guys. Thank you for being grandmothers that invest in our kids and in my family.

Now, here's the tricky thing about today. Listen, my story is not everybody's story. And so one of the things that I did to get ready for today was I got about nine or 10, uh, moms and ladies from all different stages, grandparents, some with kids, some without kids. And I asked them to coach me up when it comes to this message, because this day has a lot of different emotions tied to it. In fact, if you would, I want you to stop for just a minute and think about your relationship with your mom. And, and now I want you to put one word with it. Like, if you had to describe your relationship with your mom in one word, what would it be? Well, here's, here's what my group, here's what my focus group, uh, came back with me. Here's what they said. They said the first one right outta the gate was that they described it, it would be loving. Uh, one lady said, it's understanding, one said it's better, uh, one who's watching their, their mom grow older. She said, it's bittersweet. One said, it's just sweet. One said it's broken. Uh, one described their relationship as tight, another as toxic, one as hard another said. It's, it's complicated. And I think the last word may be the best word to describe today. Man, it is complicated your relationship with your mom. Maybe it's not what you thought it would be. It's complicated. Your relationship with your children, your desire to have kids, you're missing your mom today. It's complicated. There's so many different emotions and feelings that go with this title of Mother's Day.

Sometimes titles can be misleading. I remember my dad, he used to always say on Saturdays when we were about to start a project, he'd look at me and say, Hey, I need a helper. And I thought that meant one thing in reality. It meant he just needed a holder. You know, hold my coffee, hold the flashlight. I grew up always wanting to be a coach. And for me, that title, the idea of a coach meant a really big contract. It meant like sports center, it meant clips of me coaching five star athletes and traveling the world and getting rings and national championships. In reality, coaching is long hours and long bus rides. It's low pay and difficult. Kids and parents, sometimes the titles can be misleading. Maybe you always thought being a mom was gonna look one way and it doesn't. Maybe you thought being a mother-in-law was gonna be one role and it just hasn't. And maybe you thought being a grandmother was gonna be one way and it hasn't.

See, I think the same thing is true though. When we think about being a Christ follower. Like if I had to ask you what does it mean to be a Christ follower? I, at every campus, at every seat, I think the definition may look different. See, one of my biggest fears was what it would look like to be a Christ follower, to be a Christian. I remember growing up in church and, uh, the night I honestly I disliked the most was when there was a missionary that would come share at our church, and then they would like dress weird. They'd speak in a different language. And my biggest fear was if I decided to be a Christ father, then I was gonna have to go to Africa. Just scared me. And it's, it's so funny how God works because my wife on the other hand, her biggest passion is other cultures and other languages and sharing the gospel across the world, marriage problems, right? I don't know what it's been like for you, but maybe you thought you were gonna have to be perfect and, and you're not perfect. Maybe your fear about being a Christ followers, you've seen so many hypocrites and you don't wanna be a hypocrite. But my idea, the concept we're talking about today, is maybe you thought following Christ was gonna look one way, and in reality, God calls us to something different. Maybe you thought being a mom was gonna look one way, but in reality, God has called you and he's led you to something that may look different.

Now, our text for today, we're gonna be in John 12, and we're gonna be studying a, a lady that's a, that's an extraordinary Bible character. This is our series. We're an extraordinary characters in scripture, right? Their extraordinary, it's their faith kind of draws you in. Now, the catch for today, I love this, is we're gonna be studying Mary. Now, the Mary that we're studying is Mary of Bethany, not Mary, the mother of Jesus. And here's my point in this. The Mary of Bethany is not known in scripture to be a biological mom. But my point is, you don't have to be a biological mom to be a mom, man. Some of you're in a season of life where you're being a mom to a classroom. Some of you, you're in a season of life where you're being a mom or a single dad to some, some, some students or some parents to a PE class or to a street of kids. Some of you are showing up on Sunday nights, that movement. And you're leading kids like a mom. You're nurturing them, you're loving them, you're encouraging them, you're seeing them. So whatever stage of life you're in, don't let the title throw you off sometimes. It really doesn't mean what you think the title means. Instead, let's get a clear picture from scripture of what it means to follow Jesus and what it means to love the people that God has put in your life around you, no matter what the title, no matter what the title.

So here we go. Join me. We're in John 12, and uh, let's read one through eight and see what we can learn from this extraordinary lady in scripture. Starting off with verse one, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany where Lazarus lived, who Jesus had raised from the dead here at dinner was given in Jesus' honor. They're thrown a party for Jesus. Martha served. If you know much about this text, that's of course what Martha's doing. Martha served while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. And then here's the lady, we're struggling, we're we're studying today. Then Mary took a pint of pur an expensive perfume. She poured it on Jesus' feet and then began to wipe his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume, but one of the disciples, Judas, who was later to betray him, objected, why was this perfume sold? Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor, it was worth a year's wage. He did not say this because he cared about the poor, of course, but because he was the thief as keeper of the money bag. And I love this, this may be one of my favorite passages in scripture. Verse seven, you ready? Can you imagine being married and then hearing Jesus say this, this is in red. This is what Jesus said. I would love for Jesus to say this. Leave her alone. Leave her alone. Jesus replied, it was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you'll not always have me.

Now, here we go. Let's talk about some things now that we learned from that scripture. Really, it's four things that Mary is kind of modeling for us of what it looks like to follow Christ and what it looks like to love the people around you. The first one is Mary model, being a servant leader. Now, can't you picture that room with all the disciples in it? I mean, here's Jesus. And the disciples are doing their best to get as close to him, and they're asking themselves, who's the greatest disciple? Who's gonna carry this forward? Like who's the man of the room? And all of a sudden there's this one lady in the room, and it's Mary, and Mary's the one that's honoring Jesus. Jesus in this moment is like a lot of you moms, right? He has heard his name too many times in one day. Everyone wants to get close to Jesus, right? They're tugging on Superman's cape. I mean, he just got finished walking down the streets and the streets are packed. He's doing miracles, and he's telling people, even if I heal you, when I heal, you don't tell anybody because my popularity is just too high. I can't get around the town because everyone wants to get close to me. Moms, don't you feel that? I have heard my sweet wife say, if someone else says my name, my brain's gonna come oozing outta my ears. Mom, ma ma, ma, ma, mom. And in the midst of Jesus hearing everybody call his name, everybody on the streets, they're getting so tight, they're so packed. All of a sudden Jesus stops the whole moment and he exo his disciples. He said, who just, who just tugged on my robe. And they looked back at Jesus with that sarcastic look like, are you kidding me right now, this place is packed. Be like in the middle of Lincoln Road right now, all of a sudden saying, Hey, who's the one that just said my name? And Jesus turns around and he sees the one lady that tugged on his robe right there, and he does a miracle in her life, and he calls her daughter. My point is he sees her in that miracle, in that moment, despite all the people Jesus sees, the one that needed to be seen in that room with all the ego of the disciples and everybody jockey in for position. Jesus sees Mary. And what I'm telling you is this morning he sees you and he sees you. He loves you. And when everybody's tugging on your robe and everybody's calling your name, you need to know, he stops everything for you. And he hears you and he looks at you in the eyes, and he calls you daughter. He calls you by name. He calls you his.

I love Mary this Mary Bethany that we're studying. We see her in scripture three different times, all right? And each time she's doing something unique. The first time we see her, she's listening at Jesus' feet. Man, I'm gonna tell you, that convicts me because I, my, my wife knows so much more about my kids than I do because she listens better just telling she's back there combing that hair. I mean, she is listening. You know, they think she's just driving her around town, but she's listening the whole time. And I, I am a terrible listener. I'm just telling you like I can talk. Put me on the stage, let me talk. But if I've gotta stop and really have empathy and have a moment where I hear you and I seek first to understand you and then to be understood, that's not natural for me. And the, the ladies that we, that we, we, we got together to kinda look over this message, one of 'em says, she's sitting right over here. She said, sometimes it's like my Martha overtakes, my Mary and Martha could spin a hundred plates. Martha could do a hundred things. Martha could lead this room, but Martha struggled to sit and need a knee and hear you. My wife is good at that. I'm bad at that. It's one of the things I'm working on is how do I learn to listen better next time.

We see Mary and scriptures in John 11, and this time she's grieving. This is the, this is the moment where, uh, she's just realized that her brother has died. Now, if you know the story, Jesus steps in, he does a miracle. But in this moment, in John 11, when we find her, she is just weeping at Jesus' feet because she doesn't understand why she's having to lose her brother. Yesterday I got a text from expecting mom, and the text just said, I don't understand why my child, he is gonna deal with some difficult circumstances. You been there where you've asked Jesus like, why, why me? Why am I the only one that sees what's going on in this room? Why is it me that's still struggling? And I want you to hear today that the picture I'm showing you of a person that's following Christ and a person that's loving people around you, you experience grief. It's okay. And, and I'm learning that because I'm a seven on the Enneagram. And if, if I just answer the phone in like a normal voice, people think someone has died. And I'm like, what? What? What's wrong with you? Are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just, I'm using my inside voice and I'm wanting you to know this, that as followers of Christ, you're gonna experience more emotions than just joy. In fact, next time you're grieving and you're a mom and you're hurting with your child and everyone around you is putting pressure to, you know, dried up buttercup, look at 'em and say, listen, Jesus webbed. And in this moment, I'm being like, Christ, I'm grieving. I think it's okay to see a picture that says Christ grieve. And so it's okay for us to grieve.

The third time we see Mary Mary's worshiping. So here's this picture of the person we're trying to strive to be like this extraordinary character in scripture. And she's listening. She's grieving, and then she's worshiping. And what I want you to see is in this room in John 12, when we find Mary, Mary does not have the title to lead that room, she's not one of the disciples, but Mary has the posture, Mary takes on the role. Mary in this moment is on her knees washing Jesus' feet. You remember who else got on their knees and washed the disciples feet. It was Jesus. Moms, listen to me. Sometimes you don't have the loudest voice in the room. Sometimes you don't have the title, but so many times you're leading the room so many times it's you. And it's your passion and it's your hunger, and it's your will to get to know your children. And it's your will to understand your husband. And it's your drive to get them connected in communities like this. And it's this picture that you're painting even without the title, even when you have been discounted or disrespected, you're the person in the room that so often is leading like Jesus.

Now here's the next time we see Mary. Another thing that you just see, this new picture that I'm painting for you. The first one is, she was a servant leader. The next time we see Mary, and another thing we can paint of the picture that we're trying to understand is Mary abandons her pride. And I'll show you how you ready. I, I hate it when people do this. Like when the worship leaders get on their knees, it's like, I can't even look because it, it makes me uncomfortable. Like it makes you uncomfortable. But did you see where Mary was when we found her in John 12? She took on the lowest position in the room. She was humble. She did what the disciples didn't even know needed to be done. I want you to start thinking about this level of humility that she shows. No pride. No, you don't owe me Jesus. There's nothing that I won't do. There's no devotion that's beneath me. I will get on my knees and while I'm on my knees, I will let down my hair. Now, in that culture, that was a huge deal. She's taken on this posture that no one else in the room was willing to take on. And man, when you're humble like that, this new picture of a Christ followers, this picture of someone who is humble, God says He is drawn near to the brokenhearted. He is close. He honors those that are humble. There's humility and then there's pride. Pride drains you of understanding. It drains you of compassion. It drains you of humility, and it drains you of hu or your humanity. Whereas humility is just the opposite. Don't you love people that listen and that are humble? Aren't you drawn to people like that? Moms, you know this, you can't stand those mamas that brag on their children, but the ones that just listen, the ones that let you brag on them and you wanna be around them, God honors those that are humble moms, I see this in you all the time. There's no diaper. You won't change. There's no throw up. You won't clean up. You'll hold us close when no one else will. You always have time for us. You always answer our call. There's no job that's beneath you. You know the other thing I loved about this moment when she's down on her knees, did you see who gave the most extraordinary gift in the room? I'm gonna talk about it in a minute with generosity, but it says that Mary gave one year's worth of earning. That's how much the perfume was worth. Here's what I hear from people that give big checks. Hey, I'm the giver. I'm not the server You got to have, find somebody else that's gonna hold the door and love the kids, but I'll write you a check. Now, don't stop writing checks. But what about that kind of heart that says, I don't wanna miss that moment. I'm still gonna serve and I'm gonna give, I saw that in Mary.

Mary model's, discernment. Discernment. Oh man, I need discernment. All those different voices in the room, some of them were really loud and bold, and then others of them were quiet and disrespectful. One of the gospels, Matthew tells the same story and the account that he gives, he says the disciples, he says they were indignant of Mary. You've been around people that are indignant, they kind of size you up a little bit. They get arrogant, they give you a few grunts, they give you the size. There goes, Mary dried up buttercup. Come on, Mary, freaking Mary doing what she does. And then Judas goes even farther, right? Do you see what Judas says? Judas says in verse five, why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor as if Judas cared about the poor, Judas was disrespectful. The disciples were indignant, yet Mary was present. Mary was there. But I think there was a voice in Mary's head that was probably the loudest of all the voices. Do you battle that you've got all these different voices in the room telling you what to do? You've got this one voice over here that's disrespectful, this one voice that's loud. But I think there was a critic in Mary's head, and man, she had to picture the moment when she lost her brother, and now she hears that she's about to lose Jesus. There had to be a moment for Mary in the middle of that scene where she's going, why am I the only one that sees that Jesus is telling us that he's about to leave us, he's about to give up his life. No one else sees what I see Mom. So many times you see things we don't see. And in that moment, I think for Mary, she's saying, yes, Jesus is good, but my goodness, life is really hard. And I think she's gotta ask herself, this is a woman that's already lost her brother. Now he was healed, but now she's about to lose Jesus who healed her brother. Like, where's my story? Where where's the bow that I can put around my little story that was so difficult that can now be a life change video that we can all see and feel good about? When am I gonna get healed about the depression? When is my addiction gonna be left? When is the person I'm sitting next to in my marriage, when can we have the video where he sees me and he listens to me and he knows me? When is the child that I've been praying for that has been running gonna come back? Because everybody else seems to, but it's not my story.

And I think I, I'm, I'm, I'm begging you to hear this because someone in the room is struggling. Someone that's listening to this message is wondering, when and why am I alone in these feelings? And I want you to know you're not alone. I love what, what, what was good? And Matthew, it says, Jesus says this, come to me all you who are weary and heavy burden, and I'll give you what I'll give you rest. Moms, I need you to hear that man, ladies that are grieving, because you're asking why? Like, when is my story gonna be different? I need you to come running back to Jesus where you will find rest. He doesn't say, I'm gonna take you out of the battle. We're gonna have to keep battling. But he does promise that I see you and I'm gonna help you begin to take back your voice. You ready? We said earlier, Jesus is good, but life is hard. We're gonna switch it. You ready? Life is hard and Jesus is good. See, I want you to begin to battle back against those voices. There's a name for that. The voices that you and I hear, um, are, it's like a, it's called intrusive thoughts, intrusive thoughts. You familiar with that? Raise your head, you know about intrusive thoughts? Is this a Yeah, if, if you're not familiar with that term, it's like hammer texting, you know, hammer texting. It's like if I was gonna text my wife and be like, Hey, what's for supper? No replying. Have you been to the grocery store? I'm really hungry. What are we gonna eat? All caps. Supper. Yeah, intrusive thoughts are like that. But the problem is lots of times the intrusive thoughts that we deal with are negative. Jenny Allen wrote a book, it's called Get Out of Your Head. And she says, there's three big categories for intrusive thoughts. And I think Mary dealt with that. In this moment when everybody's looking at her and everybody's judging her, here's the first one that typically we deal with. I'm never gonna get better. It's an intrusive thought. It's the enemy. And he begins to tell you, you're never gonna conquer this anxiety. You're never gonna get past this depression. Here's the second intrusive thought. I'm the failure of the family. Here's the one you ready? It's my fault. You ever thought that before, moms, my, my child would not be struggling in school if it weren't for me. It's my fault. Our, our relationship wouldn't be this broken if I wouldn't have done what I did. It's my fault. It's never gonna get better. The third intrusive thought, they deserve better. Lemme tell you something that is not from the Lord. Those thoughts are not thoughts that honor God. Now here's what I know about intrusive thoughts. And you're thinking this. If you're having 'em, Hey Craig, I'd love to stop having those, but I can't help it. And I understand that that's why they're intrusive. But you can help what you do with them. Once they come, we go to battle against them and we begin to replace those thoughts, we begin to transition those thoughts to God's truth about what he says about you.

Okay? The fourth thing, the last thing that Mary models is generosity. Callie, don't you see that in that moment? And if there's anything that, that Katie and I fight about, it's this generosity thing. She is so much more generous. I mean, when we wanna do something for our kids or birthday party, I mean, my kids are teenagers now, but I'm like, Hey, just let 'em go play outside. Like give 'em the wrapping paper. They'll still love it. And she wants to sell the farm, and she wants to do that because she loves them so much. And, and this idea of giving it, it, you know, this side of her, it comes from God. It's, you know, you know this like we're made in God's image. And what did God do? God did what? He gave his one and only son. He didn't put his son up on the stage for no one to enjoy and connect with and see and experience. He didn't, he didn't freeze him and put him up here on the shelf. No, he said, I, I'm going to give you my son Jesus. And when I molded you and I made you, I put in you, I wired you to be a person that gives. And in that moment, Mary doesn't only just give, she gives a year's worth of her wage and she pours it out on Jesus's feet. Now, this is hard to admit, but I think I'm more like Judas than I want to admit because I can just tell you, I promise like pure, just honest, I'd be like, Katie, let's just give half of the bottle. Like, don't you think that that's probably gonna do the trick? Let's put a little back. But in that moment, man, Mary lets out her whole heart and she gives everything she has is this extraordinary picture of generosity. Now, some of you moms, let me be honest, some of you need some boundaries because you give all of your soul, you give all of your emotions. And there is a reality that sometimes we have to put the oxygen mask on ourselves and then on our children. But the picture right here is of marrying her heart. And she modeled something, she knew something, she was present in the moment. I love it. Later on in scripture, we have three different Marys that show up at the tomb at the grave, and they go in with the burial spices to give Jesus. But Mary of Bethany is not included in that list because Mary of Bethany already anointed Jesus while he was still alive. Some of you gonna show up at the grave with some really generous gifts. Some of you gonna be at that grave side and you're just gonna be bubbling over with words. But I don't want you to miss the moments. I want you to be present.

Now, let me give you some application, okay? And I've just got three things and we're gonna end right on time. Here's the first one, and this is for everybody. Would you prioritize promptings? See, see, when Jesus left us, he gave us the Holy Spirit. And there's this picture I'm helping you see today what it looks like to follow Christ. And it looks like being guided by the spirit of God that is in you and within you. And so there's moments like for Mary in this moment, she was prompted by the spirit of God to be on her knees and to anoint Jesus. And sometimes man, when you're out, you're gonna be prompted to say something to your girls. You're gonna be prompted to say something to your boys and your twins. And amen. When you feel that prompting, don't hold that back. That's the spirit of God leading you. Prioritize those promptings.

Number two, devote yourself. Don't compare yourself. Real simple, really easy to remember. You ready? Comparison kills. We got two sisters right here. I got a whole row of sisters right over here. And these sisters have to be so careful that they don't begin to compare themselves with each other, social media people. You're just gonna have to get off because every time you begin to scroll and you see those pictures of different moms, you check out of the room you're in and you check into this other reality. That's not even a reality. And the reason our kids are drowning on social media is because we are not modeling healthy boundaries as parents. And I say that as a parent, that is guilty. I hate it when the Dil till says, Hey, this week you spent two and a half hours on your phone and that was a good week. Listen, stop comparison. God has wired you and put you in the family. He's put you in. Ma'am, when you read Psalms 1 39 is your homework. And I want you to read that and read over and over again the way he's wired you and how he's put you together.

Finally, number three, begin to take back your voice. See, you've lost your voice. You talk to you more than anyone. And the one that may be talking to you is those, those voices like hammer texting and all you're hearing is it's your fault and you're never gonna get better. And it's your, it's just because of you that you've lost your family and you can never recover from this. That's not God's voice. My challenge to you is to say, would you begin to take back that voice?

Now, here's, here's how we want to end today. And I've been really excited about this. We've got three moms that are about to sing over you, and these are some really gifted amazing moms. I want you to know something. They're not perfect. And as they're singing, there's a moment in scripture that we talked about today. We talked about Martha. Martha would be doing a hundred things in this moment and she would probably miss it. And I love what Meg said. She said, sometimes I've gotta stop my Martha and I gotta have a merry moment. And so as we sing over you at all of our campuses, right, we're gonna close with this one song. I want you to have a moment like Mary, I want you to be present. I want you to listen. It's okay if you need to grieve, but I want you to be still and let God speak to you.

Let's pray. God, I thank you so much that you see us that in the midst of all the chaos and the midst of the busy streets, and in the midst of the crowded room, you look down at Marian, you look down at the woman and you said, you're my daughter. And you said to Mary, I, I see you like I I I know your name's being called out a hundred ways and I know everyone's tugging for your attention and jockeying for your position. But gosh, I see you Mary, and I want our people to hear that today. Thank God, no matter what the marriage looks like, no matter what the kids are like, no matter what the stage of life is like, no matter the details that you hear us and you see us. And so God, today, we worship you. God, we thank you for people that are willing to lay down their life and speak into us no matter their title. And so today, God, we worship you and we invite you in this space at every campus in this moment. Help us be like Mary, help us be present. It's in your name we pray. Amen.