Hey, let's pray together. And God. I thank you so much for the stories of baptism. And God what this means is these students are leading Us in the way that they're putting their faith with you first. And so God, I thank you for that example God.

I thank you that you're gonna write a great story in their life and I am so grateful that we get to be a part of a church that celebrates life change. And so God just go before today encourage us God and begin to change us from the inside out. It's in your name. We pray. Amen.

Amen guys. Well, listen men welcome to you. If you're watching online, then you're with us today in the Lincoln room. Allatorium. We just want to say men welcome to you wherever you are and man if you're here on campus with us, this is kind of an interesting Sunday for us.

We do this several times a year where we preach live from every campus. So lots of times when you come right the the message from this stage goes to all of our campuses so we can be one church and then sometimes when you come we're gonna have a message for you. That's kind of a little more campus Central that says, hey, this is where we are in life as a campus and let's kind of speak into that individually and we're in a series right now. It's the last week of this series called picture. Perfect.

And you heard just a minute ago. We're being kind of walked you through where we've been every week. But I just want to say to you before we even get into the word and the message today this this is a difficult series And because family is hard now. I was talking just a minute ago with one of our volunteers that was here earlier and Matt mentioned. He said listen family has been under attack since the very first like you go back and start just reading the book of Genesis.

And then you're either gonna be encouraged that dysfunction is not unique to you or you're gonna be discouraged that it's been hard. You've been swimming up streams since Genesis when it comes to having a family that puts God first. Okay, and so I just say to you let that be an encouragement to you. This is difficult. This isn't easy, but I want to give you some hope this morning and really I want to give you some principles that you and I together can build our family own.

All right, so we're gonna be in the Book of Romans today right here at the very first. Let me give you a little context for this verse I'm gonna love this verse and we let a house church just in our home or it was growth groups then and at the end of the semester the growth group came together and they gave us this verse in a frame and we have it in in one of our rooms just in our den so that we can be reminded of this and we look at this verse to try to find some encouragement and to really give us some vision and so as we thought about how to end the series about family we want to give you one verse that can maybe be your verse. And so that's the challenge to you say maybe this is the verse for you to help kind of guide your family from season to season and Stage to Stage. Let this maybe be the banner that you say. Hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna really try to live this verse out in my life.

The context for this verse is Paul's writing and the thing I love about Paul right is he knows every angle because remember Paul right, right. He was far from Christ in his life. Then he was persecuting Christians. He was on that side of the graph, right he was against Christianity and then he came to know the Lord's incredible story in the book of Acts that talks about how God revealed himself to him everything changed and as he's right in this perspective. He's writing it as a Believer and he's writing it back to the house Church in Rome.

And the thing that was going on in Rome with this church is man they were reaching Jewish people and non-jewish people and now they were trying to figure out what's important. Like you're bringing a lot of history with you you're bringing a lot of tradition. You're bringing a lot of culture. But what are the things that are really going to Define our church? Like what are the things that we've got to have some Unity around?

And this is how he says it and this is what he asks us to do as families. Okay? So here we go. We're gonna start out in Romans Romans 12 verse 2 do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world. Well when we start thinking about family that makes a lot of sense.

Because when we look at all the different patterns that we see in this world, man, it can be pretty discouraging. Maybe when you look at your family of origin and you see some patterns in your family, it can be pretty discouraging. Says but Would you be transformed by the renewing? Of your mind Now I want to give you a picture of this because I get to see this a lot with particularly with premarriage counseling and I'll see a couple come in that's engaged and they've got all these ideas and I'll ask them just to kind of start the discussion. I typically I'll start with the bride because they're just easier they want to talk more and I'll say hey, well, listen tell me about how does your family do holidays?

And they should just start talking, you know, like this is what we do and she's already planning how they're gonna do holidays. She sees it all and then I'll ask, you know the groom but tell me about your family. What was your family of origin? How did you guys do holidays and he'll try to get it out a little bit and all the sudden it doesn't take long to realize that they've done holidays and they do some things differently. But we've got to now decide and I'll love it because I get to see the light bulb go off then I'll say well, how is your family?

Like this new family that's coming together. Now, how are you guys going to do holidays? And they're like, oh You mean we're not gonna do it the way I did it. You mean we're not gonna do it my way. And it's this idea that no, you've got a chance to redefine your family.

And so I want to give you some principles today that are gonna allow you to begin to build your family differently that are gonna allow you to renew your mind. Maybe some of these principles are new. It's gonna allow you the courage to no longer conform to what you've been taught from your family of origin or what you've seen from the culture around us, but it's gonna allow you to be transformed. Into what maybe God designed and he asked any modeled when it comes to family for principles. Here's the first one family is meant to be a team.

Now when you think about Team all of us have a different experience and a different light of Team. We've got lots of our some are all baseball team here today, man. They've experienced a lot of success playing in the state championship. Let's give them a hand right big deal way to go. All right.

But when you think about team, let me give you some definitions of a team a team is meant to be integrated. It's meant to form to coordinate to blend into one functioning unified whole. Now does that sound like your family? To be Unified to be coordinated to be blending see over the last 200 years the culture around us has done nothing but Splinter us as family. He'd go back to Henry Ford.

Remember he created the assembly line. They said the best way to mass produce things to get things done is to put everyone in a lane and you give them one task and watch them do that one task. And then the next person they do this past. So this person does Jim this person does soccer this person does piano this person works this person provides. And it's almost like our family model has taken this assembly line.

Function and we've separated everyone out and we've splintered everyone into a hundred different directions, and we never have to come together and be one unified whole because we can produce more. Right if we'll multitask and if everybody will do something then we'll get more done. But what they figured out what they found is, although they were getting more done. They were they were pulling people apart. There was no hole.

There was no team. There was no Unity. So we're either going to produce in Mass. Or we can be a family that comes together and learns from each other. Let me give you a quote.

This is from the book called take back your family. It's at the age. It's at the coffee bar here. Says major areas of Our Lives. You ready Church education Sports They're all separated in their segment and by age.

They're almost set up in ways that parents and kids never need to interact and they certainly don't need to depend on each other. Man start thinking about that What you do when you got here today? You dropped your kids off. In an age specific classroom to be in Sunday School What are you gonna do on Monday? Those of us that are still in school.

We're going to go to school you're going to be segmented by age in a classroom Monday through Friday. We're gonna do when it comes to practice. Right? Well lots of times you're gonna practice and kids are gonna be together by their year that they were born segmented by age very seldom. Do we bring people together?

Listen? I need you to know this. This isn't a commercial for House Church. But this is the heart behind House Church. We get enough school.

We get enough where we're segmented instead. There's some things that we can learn from one another. So we're trying to put people of all different ages back together like a unit like a whole like a team. Here's what gets tricky when it comes to a team. One of the hardest things about a team is you've got to know your players.

Right. I know our coach down here today could tell us give us a testimony. He said listen, here's what I know about this player. Here's where he will really shine. I love the story about Tim Duncan, you know, Tim Duncan played for the Spurs and his coach every night.

I'm gonna weigh game would leave wherever he was. He would find a piece of carrot cake and he would bring it to Tim Duncan's hotel room because Tim Duncan Love carrot cake. And you talk about a coach that knows this players. One of the things we've done as a families we've started doing these little jigsaw puzzles. We just finished when I had 500 pieces get some.

All right, and it was classic like we finished it and of course we were short three pieces right nowhere to be found. The dog but here's the point each piece is unique 500 different pieces. Here's here's where I go wrong. That's the leader of my family instead of finding the best place for this piece to fit. I try to force it into a role.

I'm going to get this dadgum 500 piece. Jigsaw puzzle together. I've got a limited amount of time. I'm not great at this. I'm a little insecure.

So you need to go right here. This is where I would fit. So this is where you need to fit. And we'll tell you that's that's not what we need to do as the leaders of our families. Instead we need to recognize that men this kid and this wife your wife and this person.

They're all uniquely made and we need to study them and we need to know them. We don't need to make them us and we don't need to make them their sibling. But instead we need to know the players that we have because we're trying to form a team Jesus did this with those disciples? Did you see the way he would come around them? Did you see the way he would teach each of them uniquely and he new what it was to speak their language.

I'm trying to learn how to speak their language the verse we're talking about conforming to the world looks like a group of individuals. All Under One Roof Transformed by the renewing of your man looks like a team. It looks like a whole number two. Family is meant to be on Mission. And now we've kind of talked about this several different ways.

But in this context when Paul's writing this back to the church, he's saying I see all the different agendas within this house church and you can imagine it you see it in churches today, right? Like he's got an agenda over here because he wants to build this area of the ministry. And well this couple over here is looking for a Men's Ministry because they need this in their life. Well, this couple over here has preschoolers. So they needed to look this way.

Well, this couple comes from more of a traditional background. So they they're really stretched up here when it comes to this this couple. They really want us to teach on this and this one wants this and what Paul seeing in this church is because this one comes from this background and this one comes from this background. They're beginning to pull the church and all their different. Directions he's calling out to the church saying man.

You've got to be unified under one Banner. Then what's the main thing? We had to keep the main thing the main thing you need one mission to come around one thing that the whole church gathers around to say, this is our cause that's a family. It's no different. Then we need one mission to say this is what we're going to be about.

Now that's not new to the New Testament. Okay. It really starts back in the Book of Genesis. I love this. Watch this Genesis 1:26.

Says then God said let us make Mankind in our image in our likeness. Now who's he talking about God the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit let us. Make Mankind in our image in our likeness Genesis 2:18. The Lord said it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

This is the first time that God said something was wrong with creation. He said it's not good for man to be alone. Right? He needs a helper. He needs someone to come along him alongside him with this Mission so that they can be like minded because when you are alone, And you get weird.

You need people in your life to come alongside you that's why there's no orphans because you're in the family of Faith. You connect with a bigger family. You don't need to be alone. Then it really gets difficult. So we started with the Trinity God the father at creation.

It wasn't just God it was God. It was us it was God the Father the Son right in the Holy Spirit and then he said he created man. He says not good for man to be alone. He needs a helper suitable for him. And then he goes even farther and he says well, let's talk a little bit about marriage.

Because marriage is meant to be reflection of the way that God loves us. He said this he said for this reason a man will leave his father and they'll leave his mother and two will be United together. The two will become one flesh now, that's not easy. Right. In fact the analogy we get it's like iron sharpening iron.

All right, it's hard. So they're no longer too, but they're one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together. Let no man separate. All right.

It's the idea that men when God created creation, it was three and one it was community. And then when God created man, he said it's not good that man needs to be alone. He needs someone to come alongside him and then he said not only does he need to come alongside him, but I want them to be one. And what there to be one mission for this family? I want man and woman to come together under one Banner that this is their common Mission.

What does that look like for your family? What is your mission? What is your goal? What is the thing you're talking about that continues to unite you and bring you together instead of splintering you apart give you a great example on Tom and Rose West go to our church and I've watched them over the last few years and they've had a chance to take care of this Shirley roses mom. And it started with Tom having a conversation on the back porch one day to say Rose.

I really think we need to invite your mom to come live with us. This is a season in their life where they're empty nesters. They can travel and go see kids. This is a season in their life where God's blessed them. They've got the means they need to enjoy life in this stage, but they said in this stage of our life.

We need a common Mission and the thing both of us are sensing that we need to do right now with our resources. And with our time is we need to take care of your mother. And then they did that we Shirley's in heaven now, but it was a season for them where they both laid down their agendas and they came together under one mission. I'm watching this with my family, right? I've got a 13 year old 11 year old and what I'm realizing is your mission, right your statement.

That's kind of your banner that gives you Direction. It has to mold and change in different seasons of life. I mean I'm looking at you and I'm seeing I'm seeing empty nesters and and I'm seeing people go through transition and I'm seeing life with grandkids and I'm seeing young couples all through here. And the reality is you're missing is gonna change but my question for you is this and where are you in that? Maybe this is a season to come around and say hey baby.

What is our mission right now in our family? Hey, what are we shooting for right now as our kids are transition in the Middle School what needs to be the banner what needs to be the thing that brings us together? Because we won't one common Mission now, here's where it gets tricky, too. Think about Jesus's mission. Jesus's mission was to come into serve.

Now if that was Jesus' mission if he said I didn't come to be served. But I came to serve then don't you think part of our mission should be to serve the kingdom and the family of God. So this is I'm gonna go ahead and give you a low blow get ready. Your mission can't just be to go to practice. It can't just be to go to Vacation.

It can't just be together as a family. You got to have a bigger mission. And if part of Jesus' mission was to lay down his life to serve others, then part of our mission as a family should be to serve others. He can't just be all about us. And maybe like me you have experienced Mission drift companies talk about this a lot where they say.

Hey, we launched out and our goal for our company was this but we looked up a year later two years later and we just got about five degrees off one year and then you're too we another and all of a sudden we started doing like this and there's Mission Drift We got away from the main thing and maybe part of the message for you today is to say hello. Hold on. I need a 20 second right here. Let's come back around what our original Mission is. For our church.

We say our mission is we want to lead people to know love and follow Jesus. That is why we do what we do. Why does your family do what you do? What is your mission? Okay, if you're conformed to the world remember our verse then you've got a bunch of separate agendas within your family.

If you're transformed and you've come and you've renewed your mission, then you're unified under one mission. Possibly number three to disciple your kids family is meant to be a model of discipleship. You're going is that did Jesus do that? Well, he taught in moments like this on Hillside. But then he spent most of his life with his 12 disciples.

And he went from house to house discipline. The people that he loved he drew me into his life and he modeled something different and that's what we're to do with our families. We're to disciple them and how many I need to tell you this. You're so good at this. I mean I get to watch you I went to the soccer fields this week and I saw one of our families, right the mom was working with the little girl on how to play soccer.

She was discipling her had to be a soccer player the dad at the same time was discipline his little boy as to how to feel ground balls. You know, he's like get your butt down get your butt low. You'll throw stepping throw. You on that tea? And you disciple your kids so well in those things maybe it's business and you begin to go ahead and you take that kid to go open that bank account.

Will teach you how to save money? Maybe it's being generous and you disciple your kids how to have a generous Spirit by modeling unto them and giving your time. But family is meant for more than just that this is your model. This is your way to disciple your kids spiritually. This isn't something that you can delegate.

This is something you and I have to prioritize this is something that family is meant for this is our model to disciple. Now a disciple maker is a follower of Christ helping others. Follow Christ. John 1:39. Just simply says this coming you will see.

So, how do I start? Okay, like I get you. I know I have more time with my children than anyone else. I understand that we need to be a team. I'm gonna work through that.

I understand. We need one Mission and it gets hard because we get splintered and I see the assembly line with my family. I'm gonna get down. I'm gonna break the routine. I'm gonna bring us together.

Okay. It's now my role to also disciple to lead them to disciple them. But where do I start with that? This is really easy you start with you. Okay.

Then you start with you your walk spiritually your relationship with Christ is where you begin, you can't disciple your family without leading yourself first. Discipling your family starts with caring for your own soul. Leading your family means you go first. And your kids are watching you. And you can't tell them to begin to start a Bible study or to go get in a movement group when you're not in one.

Instead man. You just model that I was talking to one of my roommates in college and and I was asking him. Hey, what did you what did your family do to disciple you? He said man, honestly, I just know this every time I went down for breakfast. My dad was already there with his Bible open.

It's an I don't know what it takes, but you just get there and open that Bible and trick them. But beat them. You be intentional starts with you the next place you go to disciple your kids. The next thing you focus on is your marriage. And this one hurts because you like Craig is kind of you tricking me.

I thought this was about my kids. Let me tell you what Katie and I found out because we took a deep dive in this and we podcast we research we read the books. We interviewed many of you and we just asked you. Like what did you do? How did you get great kids and many of you said best thing you can do for your kids is focus on your marriage.

And that's hard because it's easier to focus on my kids. It's harder to focus on my marriage. You're going well. Wait a minute Craig you mean I'm divorced so I can't disciple my kids. No, of course not in fact this week.

I was at Longleaf and we had it into the Year celebration and I saw one of our families that's been through a divorce and I looked up and then they've been at each other and all the sudden I saw them they were on the same row. And I asked him I was like, whoa. Like are you okay? It's like yeah, we're not back together. But I've learned man.

I'm gonna respect and honor her. Oh, man, those kids are watching that they're watching how you handle that dysfunction. They're watching the words that you say. And third thing to model your kids to disciple your kids one. It starts with you two.

It starts with your marriage three. You got a model it. Maybe we got a model. I love this quote. This is so powerful.

I got this from family discipleship by Matt Chandler. It's a great book if you need one family discipleship by Matt Chandler observing your daily. Ordinary example of life with God will have one of the most significant spiritual formative impacts on your child. Some of your best lessons as a parent are going to be habitually gleaned by your kids as opposed to explicitly explained. That one hurt me.

In other words quit quit running your mouth. And just start modeling. Because that's going to be the thing that they see. Now we're going to be transformed if we're not going to be conformed by the world. If we're conformed by the world.

This is our verse conform to the patterns of the world. Then we're not intentional to pass down our faith. But if we're transformed if we're going to do things differently, then we're looking for time for moments and for Milestones to disciple our children. Last thing in this is this is where we get to take a turn and I get to encourage you. Because this is heavy and many of you are thinking this I wasn't modeled this this wasn't what my family looked like.

And so for me to take all these ideas that you're saying and implying into my life and now my kids. I've got to break some serious traditions. And I don't know how to do this, or maybe you're thinking listen. I'm alone. Yeah, we've walked through a divorce and I'm a single mom trying to do all this man.

This is a heavy weight for me to carry. Maybe you're thinking Wednesday night. We interviewed one of our worship leaders. Who's from, Oregon. And he's down here with his wife and his two kids.

No families close. Well, what do I do? Then? Why won't take you back to Monday's Bible reading plan? Because on Mondays Bible reading plan Jesus redefines who our family is.

And this is going to encourage you if you're walking through a season where you're struggling if you're alone if you're separated from your family or if you've taken a stance spiritually on some things and it's cause you to be isolated. You're gonna see today that you're not alone. Matthew 12 starts with verse 46 while Jesus was still talking to the crowd his mother and his brother stood outside. They're wanting to speak to him verse 47 someone told him your mother and your brothers are standing outside and they want to speak to you Jesus. He replied to him.

Well, who is my mother and who are my brothers? Pointing to his disciples as you and me those that are following Christ. He said here are my mother here are my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in Heaven. He is my brother and my sister.

And my mother Now, what does that mean? That simply means it? Let me tell you what it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean that Jesus has given up on his family. All right, let's go ahead and get that out of the way.

Like you're like shouldn't he stop for his family? Listen, there's nothing let Scripture translates Scripture. Okay, so many times when Jesus gets the most angers with the Pharisees because they're not honoring their father and their mother just a couple chapters later. So many times. He says listen bring the children to me, right?

I mean everything about Scripture read through it, right? There's there's so many times where Jesus says honor your family of origin. So he's not ghosting them. But what he is saying is this in your family is bigger than just your bloodline. Your family number four were United by Common faith.

Oh, this is so powerful. This is the this is good news for you. This means you're not alone and raising your children. This means you're not the only one responsible. This means you have help.

I love this again. Jesus didn't give up. I mean, in fact when you go after the resurrection when Jesus reappears he reappears to his disciples and Mary is right there with the disciples. So what Jesus got to see was his family of origin eventually became his family of faith. And then that's our goal is that we see your family come to know the Lord, but even if they don't you're not alone, you've been put in a faith family.

I got to see this last Sunday. This was so powerful man. It broke my heart because I was I was right out these doors on the East venue right here at Lincoln Road and a young lady came up to me. And then she was it was like 928 right before everything started and she stopped me. She said listen, can I meet with you would you pray with me?

She was all by herself. She said my brother committed suicide two days ago. I mean what I do in this moment. Whole rooms waiting on me to get up here on the stage. But then Marlin and Vicky Laird walked by their Partners in our faith family.

They're empty nesters. They're by themself today. And I said Hey, listen, do you mind I'm talking to the young lady that stop me. Do you mind if I put you with a family today? And she said that would be amazing.

I would love that. So we walk through here and I grabbed them and we walked right out of these doors and I introduced each other and then they sat with each other during church. No longer was she alone? No longer was she by ourselves wishing that her brother was right there. This will still just as difficult didn't take away the pain but it did put her in a family.

That's what matters that you're here. It's what matters that you do what you do with our faith family. Because it's important. You don't want to be alone. You have a role to play and when you don't play Your Role within our family we miss you.

I mean we need you think about your family reunion. What do you think about your family member that never shows up? Frustrates you what do you think? About your family member that only brings paper goods. Okay.

You're like bro. You could at least bring tea. Okay, that's what I'm telling you. Man this family of Faith matters and Some of you man, you're carrying everybody's groceries. I mean we couldn't do this thing without you some of you man it it's time for you to take up a role.

Some of you man, you're so generous man. Thank you. We reached out to people this week that gave financially in ways that I cannot man. Thank you, but some of you men there's other things that you can do that God's gifted you and it's your time to lean into this family you go Craig. I don't know man.

I've been hurt Can't tell you I get that. And be real honest with you my family and I have been hurt by church as well. But here's what I've noticed about us. If you go to a restaurant. And the food's bad and the services bad.

Do you still eat? You quit eating. Oh, of course not. You might need to find a new place to go eat. I understand that.

But you're not going to stop eating because you need that food. You need that family. That's what I'm telling you is listen, we need each other and I'm challenging you to say would you lean in and let this be your faith family? You're not alone family is meant for four things. The first we said, it's meant to be a team the second we said it's meant to be on Mission the third we said family is meant for discipleship.

And then the fourth family is meant to be a place where we have a common faith. Now listen in just a minute. I'm gonna give you a chance to respond and you'll see the communication cards in front of you. You can come down and you can take communion as a way of saying God you are my father man. I need you.

I want to draw close to you. I want to take communion in this moment. You can come down to the cross and this is your chance to think through and go. Hey, you know, this was something this was something I've done and right on the little card. Hey, this is a part of my family.

That's I need to give up. I need to leave this behind on the cross. This is causing damage. And I need to move past this. Maybe this is a day for you to walk down and let us pray for you.

I mean, we're family. If you're struggling in an area if you're hurt and let one of these people just say Hey, listen, can I pray with you today? Maybe you want to worship and I love the song we're closing with today. But use this moment to connect with God and say God. Thank you for being my father.

Let me pray God I thank you so much that you've put me in this family. And I love this family. I thank you for my family of origin. I gotta thank you value used them in my life. I thank you for my family of four.

God the people you've given me to disciple. To challenge to love to encourage. But God, I thank you that we can look at Scripture and realize that it I'm not alone. That I've got a faith family that when things get difficult that we can stand in the gap for each other. That God we can continue to run to the Cross together.

And so God give us Grace God to preach a message like this on family. I can't help but think of the things I've done wrong with my family. And God, I thank you that your grace covers that God. I thank you that you separate us from our sin that God we are we're a new and who we are in Christ. But God I pray that today might be a marker that we begin to do family differently and that we would run to you today.

It's in your name. We pray. Amen.