Hey, merry Christmas to all of you, and all of our campuses, those of you worshiping online, we're so glad that you're with us today. And let me say, merry Christmas, I know it feels kind of weird, but merry Christmas, was 85 degrees yesterday, but it's going to get colder and you're going to feel like Christmas. And let me ask you, how many of you feel some pressure with 13 days left of Christmas? Yeah, yeah, some of you do, yeah, especially the parents, you feel some, some pressure. We're going to talk about how to deal with pressure based on, uh, the story that's true of the very first Christmas. And it's so hard, you don't know this about preachers, but every time we come into Christmas and Easter, we know that your eyes glaze over because you think you know the story, and you've already been there, done that. You know, you know, hey, I get it. You know, Jesus was born, blah, blah, blah. Well, I want you to look at Christmas differently today, because we're going to look at Matthew chapter one, and you're going to see, I hope, what I think is the forgotten character of the Christmas story. That there's a person in the story that you overlook every single year. And this guy is always in the background, he's always behind something else, or he's not even involved in the story at all. And his name is Joseph.

Uh, we in, in our neighborhood there's a major scene, and if this is your major scene, I'm not being critical, it's just the reality. In the major scene, you've got Mary and you've got the baby Jesus. It's like Joseph doesn't exist. And I thought, you're going into Christmas, this is one year I'm going to kind of take up for the men, because we feel like we're in the background. We feel like we're the beast of burden. We feel like, hey, you, why didn't you get a better tree? Hey, why those lights not work? Guys, don't move, don't flinch, you know, why can't you get, why can't we get the right star on the tree? And you feel like you're forgotten at Christmas. And I've got good news — God has written you into the story.

So so today, as we look at Matthew chapter one, ladies, I need you to give me some grace, because we're going to look at a guy that nobody remembers. And if you're not careful, you'll read the story and you'll blink and you'll miss it. Matter of fact, there's a great book, if you're looking for something to buy for your husband, oh yeah, he does like gifts, you can buy this book. It's called Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. It's Blink, and it's, it talks about the power of thinking without thinking, how, how you look at things and you make a snap judgment, you then slice it, you make a decision, boom, and you move on. And I think we do that with Joseph. In fact, I think we do that with Christmas. We look at it, hey, been there, done that, you know, we got to do this, and hey, does it really matter? We know the story, Jesus born in the major, and we kind of move on.

Well, well, let me get you to think for just a moment, as I read you a riddle. And if you've heard this before, if you've read the book, don't yell it out, but I want you to think about it for a second and then say out loud, if you're willing to do that, at all our campuses online, if you're in the den, if you're driving, uh, here it is. A man and his son are in a serious car accident, and the father is killed, and the son is rushed to the emergency room, and upon arrival, the attending doctor, doctor looks at the child, and gasps, and says, this child is my son. Who is the doctor? Who's the doctor? The mom. Thank you. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, some of you get it, like, you, you thought through that for a second. Because when I first read that in the book — it's the very first part of the book — I thought, well, that must be the step dad, no, that must be, I couldn't figure it out. You know why? Because I thought all doctors were men. In my mind, it's got to be a doctor, ER doctor, it's a man, all the ER doctors I know are men, it's got to be a man, it can't, get to be a man. If that's his dad, how can this be a man? And so we do that a lot of times with women, where we think, hey, they can't be a doctor. But then on the other hand, we do that with men, thinking, hey, we just kind of put him to the side.

And today I want you to think about how important Joseph is to the story, and you don't take him for granted, you don't leave him out of the manger scene. You understand the reason he's written into the story is because he's very important. In Matthew's gospel, Matthew is a tax collector, you probably know the story, he gets saved. He'll know a lot about genealogy, ancestry.com, he'll know all of that. He follows him all the way back to Abraham, and he gives you the lineage of Matthew, and says, hey, he's in the line of David. He goes all the way back to Abraham. God is using a man that fits the Levites. He's a person that God writes in the story, and he's very, very, very important. And it's so intricate that there's a man in the story by the name of Jaconiah, where God in the Old Testament said, you'll never have a son that will sit on the throne of David. And this fits Matthew, and this, this fits Joseph, because this is not Joseph's son, it's not his biological son. And so into every detail this is written into the Bible. You know why? Because the story is true. The story doesn't read like a fairy tale, it reads like it really happened, because it did. In Luke chapter 3, you've got the story, the lineage of Mary, and it goes back through Abraham, all the way back to Adam. Why? Because Jesus is coming to save the world, Jesus is coming to be the new Adam. And the intricate detail of the Bible is telling you this story is true, and Joseph is important, and don't forget him at Christmas.

Matter of fact, I, I think Joseph deserves a song. I mean, how many Christmas songs have you heard about Joseph? I think we need to change that up. I think the brother needs a song. Joseph, did you know your baby boy will someday walk on water? They asked me not to sing, but I want so bad to sing. You know, like he needs a song, like, like, me and men need a movie at Christmas, you know, like Die Hard 7 and James Bond Saves Christmas. I mean, I mean, men need a little bit of respect. And so Matthew chapter one, as you begin to look there, and we look at the man that's forgotten at Christmas. And so many of our men feel that way, they're just a beast of burden. You know, go get the tree, go get the lights, get up in the attic, get down. This is, this is dad's song, okay? This is his sermon, this is a man's sermon.

Look at the background of Matthew chapter one. And I'm going to blow up your Hallmark Christmas for just a moment, because these kids, when they were betrothed to be married, were teenagers, probably more like 14 or 15. Now I know we live in Mississippi, but that's even low for Mississippi. I mean, the reality is, they're insecure, they're young, they're afraid. Can you imagine all the things? I mean, you know this if you're a parent, if you're older, there's so many things that they don't know. And they've got to feel lonely. I mean, if their family, if they're looking at them and they're seeing that she's pregnant and, and they're, they're not married, I mean, there's all kind of stuff happening in here. Mary is 14 or 15 years old and she's pregnant before marriage. I mean, do you get that? Do you, you know the tension that happens in families, and this may be in your family? I've dealt with this a whole lot with families, where I've had to sit down with families and the daughter has been pregnant and she's not married, and there's all kind of shame, there's all kind of hurt, I mean, it's all kind of embarrassment, and like, and like, you're going, why in the world would God allow this 14 year old girl to be pregnant? He's saying to you, I get you. I can meet you where you are in the time of your greatest shame and greatest embarrassment, embarrassment. Jesus says, I will meet you there, I proved it with the first Christmas.

Listen, some of you have been so ashamed and you've been so hurt and you've been so embarrassed, and Jesus says, I got you, I love you. The whole reason that I allowed this little peasant girl to get pregnant at 14 years of age was to tell you I can be born in you, no matter what you've done, no matter where you've gone. And then Mary does something that's crazy, so you just, you just bypass this. She claims the baby is God's. I can ask you a question, man, I don't say it out loud, okay? But like, when I was dating Alicia, and if she'd walked up to me one day before class and said, hey, look, I know we're gonna get married next year, but I'm pregnant. It's okay, it's not yours. Excuse me? It's not yours, you know, that's not, it's not yours, it's God's. Men, would you believe her? I love my wife, I'm not going to believe that. I'm going to go, okay, yeah, right, I got you, okay, yeah, hey, see, you wouldn't want to be, you. I mean, you know that, that sounds so crazy.

That is the real story of Christmas. The real story of Christmas is that the Holy Spirit created a baby in the womb of a 14 year old peasant girl, who was in the line of David, and she goes up to her husband, who's 15, and says, hey, I'm having God's baby. Well, that won't fit in your Hallmark movie. Oh, well, we're not done yet. They go on their honeymoon. Guess where? To a barn. Not the barn at Bridalwood. A barn. I mean, you're talking about animals. You're not going to the Bahamas. There's no five-star restaurant. There's no big reveal where you hit a golf ball and it's blue. See, see, when you think about Christmas, man, you got it all wrapped up, like, on your little deal there, and you got it all sanitized. It's just for the the cute people, the nice people, you got Mary, did you know, and, no no, man, there was a lot of pressure there, there was a lot of hurt there.

We're not done yet, they got to go 90 miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem, and Mary is riding on the back of a donkey if she's lucky, otherwise she's walking. It's like walking or being on a donkey or an animal, riding from Hattiesburg to North Jackson. And I think there was some complaining going on. Are we there yet? How much farther? Look at her donkey, look how fast. Why can't you afford a donkey like that? Man, there was pressure going on the first Christmas. God is saying, if you feel that kind of pressure in your family, if you feel that kind of pressure with your finances, God understands you. So with that, I don't want you to blink, I want you to think.

In Matthew chapter 1, begin with verse 18. And I want you to think about the Christmas story like you've never heard it before. Matthew 1 18. "This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about. His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, he didn't want to expose her to public disgrace, so he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph, son of David — you're in the Davidic line — do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." Now, I wish we had a whole, you know, hour to talk about that. "She'll give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. And all this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Emmanuel, which means God with us. And when Joseph woke up, he did what the angel, the Lord, the messenger, had commanded him to do. He took Mary home to be his wife, but he did not consummate their marriage until after she gave birth to his son. And he gave him the name Jesus."

Now, now let me, let me say four things about Joseph. Men, I want you to remember this because there's four ways you can handle the pressure of Christmas when you feel like you're being left out, or if you feel every Christmas hey, you're always frustrated, if you feel every Christmas we're spending way too much, if every Christmas you go like, hey man, this is way, way out of bounds. Four things we learned from Joseph, a godly man. Number one, he was kind in the midst of chaos. Now, can I just say, that's not my go-to when there's chaos at my house? My go-to is not kindness. My doctor's ninja. And and uh, he's kind. And, and but he's a just man. He goes, you know what, hey, they could stone her because she's obviously been unfaithful because she's pregnant, and, or, or I could divorce her publicly, and and kind of free myself of anybody thinking it's, you know, I had anything to do with this. Because he's being thrown in there too, uh. There's all kind of things that we can do here, like, if I, if I just put her away quietly, even, it will be where she will be a peasant. She will be poor the rest of her life and she will never get married. And he's a kind man. But he's also a merciful person, and he begins to think about her life and what would happen to her, and he's kind. Man, I don't, I don't know how you're wired, but can I say this for Christmas? It's taken me 40 years to get here, 40 years of marriage, and every Christmas I, I get so frustrated. Every, every Christmas it's like, there's no way we can do all that. Every Christmas I get the lights three quarters around the tree and then they go out, and it's my fault, and I'm learning, hey, hey, one is to be kind and two, let her decorate the Christmas tree.

Number two, his faith in God was greater than his love and faith in Mary. Now, now let that settle in, because that is a huge principle. He, he loved Mary, and and when Mary said, hey, I'm having God's baby, he loved her, you know, and was faithful to her, but he didn't believe her. It wasn't until the messenger of the Lord came and said, hey, hey, you don't need to be afraid, you, you need to have courage, because what has happened in her is from the Holy Spirit, and he began to believe the word of God. See, here's the thing, maybe, maybe your marriage is not great, maybe your, maybe your wife has said or done some things that have really frustrated you. But here's the thing that will take you through — when you love God and His word more than you love your wife, all of a sudden, things will begin to work out. And maybe you're frustrated, and maybe you're angry with your kids — listen, don't quit, God's not done. Listen to the word of God. Listen, we put everything online, we put devotions, we put a Bible reading, we give you everything you could possibly imagine to hear the word of God. And I know what some of you men were saying, are saying — if I had a messenger, an angel from God, that came to speak to me, then I would listen to him, and I would do what he said. Listen, huh? Jesus says in Luke chapter 16, with the rich man and Lazarus — you remember this story, when Lazarus is the poor man and he's sitting by the gate of the rich man, and the dogs come and they lick the sowers and he dies and goes to heaven, and then the rich man goes to hell, and he's looking up, and father Abram, he sees Father Abraham, says, hey, send Lazarus just to touch his finger in some water and touch my tongue, and send somebody back from the dead so they can warn my brother, so they won't come to this horrible place. And Abraham says, they have the word of God, they have the prophets. Listen, the reason we do this, is there is power in the word of God, and Joseph knew that. He said, well, I may not believe Mary, I'm going to believe God, I'm going to do what God tells me to do.

Here's the third thing — Joseph was willing to sacrifice what he wanted, so she could get what she needed. Now men, let that settle in for a second. Here's Joseph, he's 15 or 16 years of age, he's betrothed, which basically means already married, she's pregnant, and he commits to her. He says, I'm going to obey the Lord, I'm going to love the Lord, have faith in the Lord, more than I love you and have faith in you, and Joseph commits to a sexless marriage. Now, no other preacher's ever said that, that I know of. Probably had more sense. But here's the reality of Jesus — you know, it's not all about me. I'm going to commit to you, even though I know that there's a lot of things that go with marriage that I really like, but I'm going to put those on pause because I know what you need is greater than what I want. Verse 25, "He did not know her until after she brought forth the firstborn son." That's a mic drop. Hey, I'm going to love you, I'm going to serve you, I'm not going to put you like an elf on a shelf, but because I can't be a rip with a whip, I'm going to love you, I'm going to care for you, I'm going to be faithful to you. Here's the thing about your marriage, man — even though you say, well, hey, things aren't good, things aren't good, things aren't good — if you'll give it some time, it can get better. Every five years people change drastically, so if you don't like your marriage right now, hey, just hang on, it's going to change. The downside is, if you really like your marriage, hang on, in five more years it's going to change. Here's the thing that Joseph knew — you were made by God and for God, and nobody can meet your deepest needs other than the Lord. Don't make your wife your God. You'll be too critical of her, you'll try to control her, you'll enable her. Listen, Joseph trusted in God to meet all of his needs.

Here's the fourth thing, here's the last thing, this is the, to me, the most astounding — Joseph believed that this child could save him from his sins. Now, he didn't know the story that you know. He didn't know that Jesus is going to live a perfect life and die a substitutionary death and rise from from the dead. All he knew is that God said, hey, this is, this is, this is my baby, this is the Messiah. And he believed in him. He confessed his sins, and he said, hey, I'm placing my trust in you, even as a baby, to save me from my sins. Verse 23, "The virgin shall bear a son, and you shall call him Emmanuel, which means God with us." And Joseph says, I believe that. 400 years of silence, 400 years of darkness, and a baby's cry pierces the silence, and Joseph places trust in him.

Listen, one thing about Christmas that I want you to get, if you, if you don't get anything else, is that Jesus came to save you from your sins. He said, well, I know that, I know that, no, no, but have you confessed your sins and received him as Lord? It's a free gift of salvation, have you done that? Listen, I've got good news and bad news about the Christmas story. The good news is, the Christmas story is not like Hallmark. I'm just, I'm just glad about that personally, uh. Men, are you with me on that? Or are you okay with that? Yeah. Because it's not about a donkey, it was a, you know, it's a dog, it's a stable and not a stately end. It's, it's poor teenagers and not corporate lawyers. But here's the bad news of why everybody loves Hallmark — regardless of the knots and the plots, there is hope at the end of the story. That is the gospel — that no matter how difficult your life may seem, at the end of the story Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, He lived a perfect life, He died a substitutionary death, and He rose from the dead to prove to you that you can place your faith totally in Him to save you.

Last week, I just thought Timmy did an amazing job in talking about laying your burdens down, and I mean, I just applauded him. We, our teachers are the best, our teaching team, the best of anybody in the state. And and I watched as he took those bricks and he put him on the cross, and he said, you can lay this down — fear, and you can lay loneliness, and you can lay shame, and you can lay this. And, and today I want you to do something different. Instead of just laying down your burdens, I want you to pick up what you need from God. Listen, the cross is not just about God forgiving you and taking your burdens and taking your difficulties and taking your pain. It's also about you getting some things from the cross that give you strength and give you hope and give you life. When Jesus said, be yoked with me, take your yoke upon me, it was the idea that, that He's over here in the yoke and He's the strong one, and He's carrying you along, and He's teaching you and He is training you. He's given you courage, He's giving you ability to say I'm sorry, He can give you patience, He can give you peace.

Let me ask you this Christmas, going in to the final week and a half of Christmas, what do you need from God? Because He came to do things in you that you can't do on your own. That's the bottom line of Christmas. Jesus came in an impossible way to impossible people to do the impossible in their life. Friends, He'll do that for you. I want, just for a moment, before we race out of here — and I know we've got Amazon packages on their way, I know, man, I know, I know how it works, man, I'm right with where you are, and I know you're trying to stay away from Walmart, I know, you, I know all that — before we race, I know you got things, I know you got pictures, family pictures, that everybody hates, it proves there's a Hades. And but before you, before you race out of here, would you take a moment to ask God to give you what you need right now in your life? Because Christmas is real, it's for real people living in a real time and place who have legitimate needs. Jesus said, I came to give you life, I came to give you hope, I came to give you strength. What do you need?

Would you buy your heads and close your eyes for a moment. I know for a lot of you, you would prefer to hear a Christmas message that is sanitized and simple so that you can go and live in the strength that you have. But that's not the gospel. Jesus Christ came to be born in you, to give you supernatural joy, a living hope, deep encouragement, value, because He made you in His image. Father in heaven, I thank you today that you sent Jesus to live and die for us, to rise from the dead, to save us from our sins. But God, you also sent the Holy Spirit to give us strength and hope and insight. God, I pray for our men that are listening to this message, God. I pray you would lift them up and give them courage and strength to be godly leaders, to lead their family, to love their wives, to love you and your word more than they love their children. And Father, ask all these things in Jesus name, amen.